Yeah, so I FINALLY went to go see Star Trek. Man, I hated how work kept me out of the theater for that long, but no complaining, DAMNIT! I got to see it! ( ^_^)
So, you may have heard about the new Star Trek movie that it’s “not your father’s Star Trek.” Well, that’s gotta be true because this movie is full of so much kickass crap (and so little in the department of psychedelic drug trip sequencing) it couldn’t possibly have come form the 60’s.
THE STORY
So, the one thing that encompasses this entire movie that has been done, and then done, and then done some more throughout pretty much every part of the Star Trek franchise is time travel. Yes, it’s one of those stories, but the time travel is much more important than you may yet realize.
As far as the story goes, the time travel part explains important happenings, like, how Vulcan was destroyed and how Spock’s mother died, and also changes many important things, such as how Kirk came to be born, be Captain of the Enterprise, and be friends with Spock. That’s the real thing that the whole time travel concept, including a little schpeil from the old Spock from the future: this movie exists on a different dimension and therefor a different reality than absolutely everything else Star Trek you could have possibly ever seen before. Which means, that the writers can do whatever the hell they want, and, I must say, I’m glad they didn’t go crazy with that amount of freedom and power coupled with this huge franchise and its endearing characters and values.
Anyway, Kirk’s dad dies b/c of the time thing. Kirk’s born in a shuttle b/c of the time thing. Spock’s mother and world get ’sploded because of the time thing. There are two Spocks because of the time thing. Scotty is discovered and joins the Enterprise because of the time thing. Kirk becomes captain because of the time thing. Kirk and Spock become friends because of the old Spock and the time thing. And, finally, Ohura is the sexiest black actress ever to grace the set of anything Star Trek and wants to jump Spock’s bones (not Bones, Spock’s bones) for a freaky night to never be forgotten… but not because of the time thing.
And when it’s all said and done, and the Federation is saved (except for some 6.8 billion vulcans), it’s pretty much back to the normal Star Trek…. except that Ohura is fucking crazy hot and wants some of that Vulcan peni-… okay, sry, sry…
VISUAL EFFECTS
I gotta say, this movie didn’t disappoint on visual effects. Stunts and scenery usually sum up the two categories that Star Trek does well with. Seeing the Enterprise rise out of a cloud of cosmic dust makes me want to cry with geeky joy. The scenery throughout the entire movie looks superb, including sets and CGI. The CGI animals look awesome on the icey crap hole Kirk gets dropped on. The Romulan giganto-mining vessel looks pretty bad ass, as well.
I rate the uniforms as a “meh…” and Scotty’s little alien friend as a “major league boo”. Besides that, I think I could watch the whole movie without sound and still have a geekgasm by the end… and NOT because of Ohura!
THE CAST
Simply knowing you’re watching a new Star Trek movie makes you prepare yourself for new and different things that you’re going to see happen to one of your most cherished of all stories and characters. So, I could see almost anyone playing any character in this movie. I mean, I really wasn’t expecting to see anyone from the White Castle movie in there, but hey… whatever. Good job using the sword, John Cho. Also, Simon Pegg was a pleasant surprise.
I think the entire cast did a great job at portreying a new and modernized version of the original characters, including the original actors’ manorisms that became part of the characters, save one…
Karl Urban, I’m surprised that you lost so much weight to play Bones in this movie, but your acting was so forced (maybe because of the American accent?) that I just didn’t like watching you. I’m sorry, I really am. Especially since now you’ve managed to tie the story of a stranded space marine from a video game I’ve always cherished to a series I’ve always loved.
BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL
The things that were in this movie that just really kind of irked me were far and few between, but they were still there. Such as, the whole trying to make the audience feel nostalgic thing. How many shots of the Enterprise coupled with a crazy trumpet fanfare were there, exactly? 12 billion? That’s what it felt like. I almost didn’t wanna see the ship, anymore. Oh, I know, GASP!
Want something more to gasp at? Gasp at this: I HAD ENOUGH LEONARD NIMOY AFTER ONE SCENE. I mean, c’mon… I liked the whole sequence where he is actually interacting with Kirk and telling the story of how he went back in time, but after that it was a sort of needless cameo after needless cameo. The flow was just seriously interrupted. And since we’re talking about Nimoy, Spock was basically the star of the movie. Just pointing that out. It was lots on Spock. I guess that’s less of an annoyance thing as a i-gotta-get-used-to-the-way-they-wanna-write-star-trek-now kind of thing.
OVERALL
Should you go see it? Hmm… let me think for just a moment on that one… YES YOU SHOULD GO SEE IT, YOU FUGNUT LOVIN’ CHIPMONGOOSEY! Even if it’s not what you wished it were or what you remembered, it’s still Star Trek and I don’t mean that it is titled or called ‘Star Trek’, I mean that the writing that was done for this movie keeps the story as Trekkie as it was before, but just a little … different. It’s something new. As an example, think of the original Enterprise, its outside and innards. Now, think Enterprise as made by Apple. It’s different, better is negotiable, but it’s new and it still works.
Pushing all the other things I thought about this movie aside (meaning, all the stuff I can’t remember about it that I originally wanted to write about, but now am too tired to), it’s good. I mean, so good that I’ll likely be paying to see it, again and again.
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